I have been absent from blogging & social media for over 5 months now, since the loss of the most important person in my life.  

In April this year my life changed forever &, sadly, I have learnt first-hand how grief can affect you in unexpected ways and particularly when it comes to dealing with stuff:

  • Decisions seem harder or not as important
  • Time seems to stand still
  • You seem to do things at a slower pace & get tired easily
  • Your brain seems to slow down
  • Some days you just can’t do what you intended
  • The emptiness haunts you

There are lots of other aspects, but those above can affect decluttering, sorting and tidying up around the home.  We have so many things these days, that for many of us we need to continually keep on top of it.    Just a few weeks, a few months or a few shopping trips can result in piles growing and clutter building up.  Personally, at the moment, our home isn’t as organised as it once was, but it isn’t my priority at the moment.
Sorting a loved one’s belongings is another confronting and unwanted task.   Don’t be pressured, do it at our own pace, in your own time, little by little and get assistance when you feel you need it.  It will be hard and some days you will not be able to do it.  Sometimes no one else can do it, you need to do it yourself to honour your loved one and say small farewells via their stuff.
Remember you don’t need to keep everything that was your loved ones.  Focus on retaining some precious items/treasures that bring back beautiful shared memories.
Forgive those around you when they seem insensitive, no one can understand your loss or how you feel.
Grief can make getting motivated to do simple tasks difficult.   Be kind to yourself, some decisions can wait.
Myself, I need to keep my home sorting business going, I love what I do, I look forward to keeping busy, helping others.

Take care, enjoy every day, create wonderful memories with your loved ones every day ….


Mary J Harnan BBus, allsorter – 3a home sorting specialist
Aging Specialist & CD Specialist from ICD, Expert Member AAPO (Aust Assoc of Prof Organisers), Professional Member NAPO (National Association of Professional Organisers)
Based in Balwyn North, Vic, I have sorted 100’s of homes & helped 100’s of clients. I regularly speak about 3a decluttering, downsizing & my 3F’s for letting stuff go